he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
