There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
