Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
