i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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