She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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