Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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