I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
