mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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