Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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