Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
