My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
