it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
