you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
