ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
