i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
