erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
