Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
