evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
