Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
