brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
