Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
