i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
