I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
