So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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