While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
