Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
this boner is exhausting
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
