I wanna passion pit in your ass
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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