it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
