Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
