I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
