dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
