So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
