at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
