Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
