woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
