Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
