4 words: hood of his car
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
