Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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