'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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