i think i have two assholes
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
