hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
