Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
