the condom got lost in my hair
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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