So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
