Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
