i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
