Quick, to the slutcave!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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