I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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