i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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