Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
