You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
