I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
